News
Death
Death. Something we all fear as humans. Something we want to think less about and replace with the thoughts of the good to come in the future, but no matter how much you push the thought of dying away you still know that one day you will die. But the truth is it's not death that we fear, but instead it is the pain, the pain, mental and physical, the pain that it'll bring to others when we pass, and knowing that everything we worked for in life just disappears and that we will never see it again. Whether it be relationships you built with others or it be the success you have had in your lifetime, is all gone when you die. The pain is what I believe we all fear, not necessarily death itself, but being absent from the world and those you love. This is my point of view on death, but I believe we do go to a better place based on our actions that we make in our life. The pain of death is what stands out to me. Hoping we will be remembered as someone good and not as a bad person that made bad choices. Death is scary but not being remembered is what's most scary. We all have different opinions on death. Mine is one of many, hopefully this makes you think differently on death.
Roots
this is an obituary for the part of me that used to wither in the wind. now, I'm no
green thumb, but I know that
if you don't water a flower then it is
bound to
crumble.
my pain is where my roots lie,
if the roots weren't there, wouldn't you die?
it keeps us alive. but it's
buried deep within
the roots
where nobody sees.
the roots, in the ground. there have been few to actually
dig into the dirt, few willing to
get their hands dirty.
many want to see the growth but
don't give the sunlight? now, i'm no green thumb but
i don't think a flower grows in the dark.
there was a time my petals wilted and were
rough around the edges. no light to lead me to the
water that i needed. i learned to thrive on what i had left
even when I had to reach into the deepest depths into
the earth.
I'm no green thumb, but maybe a flower could survive in the dark
can endure the neglect and handle the rejection, even in the cold when the
leaves start to fold. little did I know the warmth that awaited
like a summer solstice, I never realized the rebirth that was created.
now, I am capable of growing among waste
the fears no longer in my vison, just something I've already faced.
you could call me a ruderal, or just my old self's funeral, when one flower
F A L L S
It's seeds plant another. in the ground, in the roots, gone but never forgotten
lies the girl I used to be.
Paper Thin Walls
With paper thin walls
No words can be told
For if one slips out
The paper will burn
Up in flames they will be
Filling the whole place with smoke
All rushing to get out
The fire spreads fast
The wall come crumbling down
But no one bothers to put out the flames
As the flames calm down
The walls turn to ash
The words told
Turn into apologetic tears
But why are you sorry
While living in fear
The paper thin walls formed by the trust that was never there
The footsteps down the hall
All memorized by my heart
The breathing slow to prove you are asleep
Or the “I love you” you speak
Even though it’s hard to believe
The walls burning down
As scary as it seems
It may help you find some peace
Just like it did me
From Darkness to Joy
I walk through the shadows,
Darkness from light
Nothing is wrong,
Nothing is right.
The forest is dark,
The meadows are bright
I walk through the trees
And my chest gets tight.
Fear is strong
Excitement is stronger,
When I burst through the trees,
I feel trapped no longer.
Finally, free
Race through the fields
The one thing I know
Is the one thing I feel
JOY.
Quiet Day
A Rose is Red like the Grass is Green Open your eyes and see
Up on the bough, a single leaf
Holds on against the wind's belief
It shivers Green before .....
Alas it's life has fled
Raindrops tap on the window glass A gentle rhythm soft and fast
The world outside is washed in gray A quiet cozy stay in side
TOMBSTONE
WHILE EVERYTHING I LOVE IS MOVING ON AND WASHING AWAY, I LAY ANOTHER CASKET WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO VISIT MY GRAVE.
I SEE A SIGN OF NO ONE AROUND, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE. WHILE ME AND MY PARENTS ARE
NEXT TO EACH OTHER WHILE WE'RE TEN FEET IN THE GROUND.
FINALLY, I GOT USED TO BEING ON MY OWN. I KNOW MY GRAVE IS A DIRTY STONE.
BEING ABANDONED DIDN'T FEEL SO GREAT. AND MY TIME TO GO TO HEAVEN IS JUST A BIT LATE.
IT'S NOW MONTH ONE, I SEE NO SUN. IT'S NOW MONTH TWO, HOPEFULLY GOD WILL DO WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO.
MONTH THREE IS COMING SOON, I AM NOW STARTING TO ASSUME I AM DOOMED.
IT'S ALREADY MONTH FOUR, I'M READY TO SEE HEAVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE.
IT'S MONTH FIVE, HOPEFULLY SOON I WILL BE IN THE SKY.
SOON, MONTH SIX I'M SICK TO MY STOMACH. I'M SO SCARED OF WHO HE PICKS.
HOPEFULLY MY PARENTS WHO ARE RIGHT NEXT TO MY GRAVE. I HOPE THEY WILL BE IN A BETTER PLACE.
ALREADY MONTH SEVEN? HOPEFULLY I WILL SOON BE IN HEAVEN.
MONTH EIGHT, I AM BEING PATIENT. BUT IT'S STILL A BIT LATE.
FINALLY, MONTH NINE. IT'S FINALLY TIME!
K’s Poem
Innocence cloaked in a fragile guise, A child's heart trembling, lost in the lies, My cousin, a guardian, or so it seemed, In a world painted with colors, where nightmares dreamed. Fear gripped my spirit, a shackle so tight, Terrified whispers echoed through the night, How could betrayal come from kin so near? The warmth of affection turned cold with fear. J., my solace, my safe place to land, wanted to shield him, to hold his hand, But shadows engulfed me, confusion ran deep, Innocent laughter now haunted my sleep. He spoke of love in a voice soft and sweet, But I didn’t know then how to recognize deceit, What I thought was affection, a bond to embrace, Was tangled in darkness, a twisted space. Now love feels so heavy, a blend of the two, Lust wrapped in longing, a feeling askew, I long for the clarity, for light to break through, To separate love from the pain that I knew. Yet deep in my heart, a whisper remains, To seek out the truth, to break free from chains, For I am more than the shadows I've faced, And in seeking my healing, my spirit embraced.
The Call of the Outside
The world, framed in glass a painted scene,
moves on without me, vibrant and keen.
The street, a river of sound and light,
flag on in its own rhythmic might.
A sudden gust sending leaves to spin and dance
a fleeting whirlwind chance.
The traffic light blinking colored heart.
Conducts the pulse of every passing part.
A life unseen but through a pane and frame
a thousand stories whispered, each a flame,
And I, a quiet witness, watch it all from this small square of a window,
hear its call...
My Family My Story
Growing up in a family where family don't even matter
Its like there sitting back waiting for you to climb the ladder
Do you see the hurt can you see my pain
could you imagine not having any shoes walking in the rain
Maybe i wanna go to college and break the traditional chain
That will create a traditional change
Now i know not everybody grows up the same
Some with fame and the others with shame
But you see my parents aint the ones to blame
Grew up in the struggle with a poor single mother
I've never had anything that wasn't worn
shirts and hoodies was always torn
Im stuck in this storm how would you morn
If you lost somebody that was yours
Life is hard and i cant let down my guard but only for one person
because all we've had was each other
my momma has always told me son dont judge a book by their cover
because they might be the person where you need help from one another
Day treatment helped me find my purpose
Didn't know who i was they helped me open my curtains
Seen the light on what it really could be
Had to stop blaming my actions and every thing that happened to me
on everybody else i have to blame myself
Everybody kept on telling me to keep my emotions locked away
so i socked the pain told everybody that im okay
and to be honest i wouldn't be here today
would've thrown my life away stuck in a cage
if it wasn't for my sister and my brother
so really when my mom is gone all we will have is each other
ima keep it real and long live my brother
To Mamaw I’m Sorry
“I’m sorry Mamaw” I know I’ve made some choices wrong, and hurt you when I should be strong. With every word I didn't say, regret goes deeper every day, your love's been steady, pure, and true, a guiding light I’ve looked up to. But sometimes I forget your grace and bring a shadow to your face. I never meant to cause you pain or let my actions leave a stain. You've given all without even a pause - you love me dear you love me with all of my flaws. So mamaw here I am today, no pride, just love you and I miss you with tears.